Managing Boys Who Must Survive Violent Streets
by Lloyd Dennis, co-founder Silverback Society®
In the high stress violence dominated environments in which many
boys survive, they can never afford to appear submissive, fearful or
weak in front of their peers. They cannot afford to appear to “take
orders” from anyone. They need a way to “save face” in all and any
situations.
However, they universally respond to compliments, being noticed
doing something right, being called smart or strong minded, pats on
the shoulder, handshakes, dap, being asked to help, being trusted
and respected. They easily and quickly become addicted to these
things and become skilled at keeping it coming, some call it life skills.
We have the seven Silverback Ways.
When you deal with a boy who must survive on violent streets, you
must try to understand what is at stake for him in the way things
appear to be. It is almost impossible to create a positive outcome for
an urban man-child by addressing him in front of other children.
Remove a kid from line of sight and hearing of others and you can get
cooperation, but please never go for submission, particularly in front
of peers because your disrespect may be sending him to a future that
will include prison, because he cannot back down. It’s not just peer
pressure anymore, sometimes its survival.
©2010 by Lloyd Dennis, co-founder Silverback Society®
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